True compassion honors both the giver and the receiver.
Many empaths are also healers; either personally or professionally. We’re natural helpers, and we like to give when we can, and as much as we can.
But sometimes we cross the line, and lose sight of our boundaries. That line becomes blurred when we have that strong sense of empathy, along with the intuitive nudge that maybe we’re giving too much of ourselves.
And the lesson comes up when dealing with people who are lacking boundaries as well. They may be over-givers, and now they expect us to do the same.
And their over-giving may have put them in a difficult situation (such as lacking funds to pay us for needed services), so they have an expectation that we should do the same and give back for free.
But this is when we must understand our worth, and know that self-preservation is important. We may hear a story from the other person about how difficult their life has been, and it’s tugging at our heart-strings.
We really do empathize with their struggle. But in the case of needing to get paid for our services so that we can survive and continue to help others: We may need to gently say “no”.
This can be a hard thing to do for empaths who want to help, and who sense other’s pain and struggle. But in order to avoid burnout and to continue to have much-needed balance in our lives, we’ve got to stand our ground.
Whether it’s money that we need in exchange for our services, or our precious time which is limited. For example, there may be people lining up for our time or services, but we need the balance of family and friend time in order to be happy in life.
Or we need time in nature and with our animals to keep our energy up, especially in these crazy times we live in. Filling our “energy tanks” in various areas of our life is important as a sensitive soul.
Without that balance, it affects us in ways that are destructive:
- Our finances and having basic necessities such as a roof over our head, and food in the refrigerator.
- Our relationships with those we love, who may be feeling ignored and may eventually go away.
- Our health, which can suffer under the pressure of the mental and emotional stress.
And learning the hard way by not having boundaries and understanding our worth is not the way to go. Even animals understand their worth.
Animals give love freely, but they also have strong instincts for self-care and boundaries around their energy. For example, I had a horse who had expectations around her food needs. And she also could be “nippy” if I didn’t respect her boundaries.
They know they need to protect themselves in order to survive. This is an important lesson from the animal realm.
So, don’t wait until it’s too late and your life implodes under the weight of not knowing your value, and having the boundaries to protect yourself. And above all, don’t feel guilty by setting those boundaries and saying “no” to helping people for free, or not allowing them to take up too much time and energy.
You’re worth the self-respect and self-care that comes with a life that’s healthy on all levels: Mentally, physically and emotionally. And this is an important lesson for the empath that never gets old.
Also, remember that as we learn these lessons in life, we help other people to not only learn to respect others, but to value themselves as well. If they need to pay for our services; they will respect us more, as well as value themselves by having to put out the money for what they need.
And if they have to wait for our help, they’ll value it too. So in the end, we’re doing both ourselves – and others a favor.
So, knowing our value and worth impacts our lives on every level in a positive way, while teaching others to value us and their own worth too. It’s a win-win for everyone involved.
Remember, honoring yourself is not a rejection of others — it’s a reflection of love in balance.
If you’re feeling called to reconnect with your clarity, purpose, and the deeper “why” behind your giving nature, I invite you to schedule a complimentary Clarity & Purpose Call with me. Together, we’ll explore what your heart — and your animal allies — are asking for next.
Book your call here: https://clearlyblissful.as.me/Clarity
