The emotional entanglement of the narcissist and the empath is unfortunately fairly common. And if you’re an empath, it’s important to understand why that is so you can prevent it, or escape the situation and heal your heart.
But let’s dig in to why this happens…
We know that narcissists are emotionally cut off.
After all, when the pain in their heart is too much to bear, it’s best to sever the connection.
But what’s an empath?
An empath is someone who is sensitive to the emotions of others, and they can also take on an emotion as if it were their own.
So an empath can start their day feeling content, and then they find themselves feeling anxious or depressed. These emotions could be coming from someone else that they’re around.
Being empathic can be a great thing — especially when we have great compassion for others.
But here’s something that an empath should watch out for: They can be people pleasers, because helping others to feel better helps the empath to feel better as well.
And when it comes to the narcissist, it’s a case of “opposites attract”.
The empath naturally has “empathy” for the narcissist, and the narcissist of course enjoys the attention.
Unfortunately, the empath has unknowingly walked onto the emotional land mine of the narcissist.
And when the empath gets entangled with the narcissist and the emotional roller coaster it creates, they can really get caught in a “trauma bond”.
Of course, the narcissist enjoys the ongoing “energy supply” of the empath.
But eventually, it then becomes a total energetic drain for the empath, and they often end up being discarded and feeling like a total “basket case” when it’s all over.
The upside is that there are lessons for the empath to learn; and really, that’s the point of it all. (Life is loaded with lessons that help us to grow at a deep soul level.)
First of all; for the empath, it’s important to understand that you can’t fix the narcissist. (People have to want to get help, but the narcissist fails to see that they’ve got issues, so it’ll likely never happen.)
So the empath has two choices:
- They can learn to emotionally protect themselves from the narcissist, and love themselves — rather than depend on the occasional love-bomb the narcissist might throw their way. Or,
- Realize that the relationship with the narcissist is not a healthy one, and escape sooner, rather than later. (If they’ve already been discarded by the narcissist, then it’s time for the empath to do some deep healing and learn to protect themselves emotionally so that history doesn’t repeat itself.)
Either way, there’s a common theme here: Self Love.
When the empath learns self-love, they’re less likely to be drawn in by the insidious idealization of a narcissist.
They can also turn their attention away from people pleasing, and learn to please themselves. And above all:
“Self-love is the greatest tool for an empath to survive and prevent narcissistic abuse.”
If you’re an empath, there are tools out there to help you, and get on the right path. Start now; it’s never too late.