The four pillars of happiness that animals already know
At one point I realized something that changed everything: Happiness is something we can experience anytime, anywhere. It’s not controlled by our outside circumstances. Instead, it’s a state of mind that we can create – and not in an artificial way.
And animals already instinctively know this. All we need to do is look at a dog that’s wagging its tail, a cat that’s purring, or a horse that loves to gallop to see that they know how to go to their happy place instinctively.
But for humans, the way we think and feel can be a habit. It’s something that can evolve over time by being in an environment, and it can start in childhood. Then our life ultimately becomes a reflection of what we learned.
Recently I realized that I had gone down the stress rabbit hole, and I was not happy at all. I was going around with my jaw clenched, stressing out about anything and everything.
This was affecting my gut health, and creating stomach issues. Then I began to stress out about that, which made me feel worse.
Finally, I stepped back and had a realization: I was making myself miserable. And even though my background includes being a mind-body wellness practitioner, I too got caught up in the habit of stressing out.
And that, my friend, is the first pillar of being happy in life: Freeing ourselves from the addiction of stress. For me, this was something I got used to in the corporate finance world. In that environment, we were on edge at all times, because of the urgency we felt to get loans completed.
But when we recognize that learned behavior, we can stop it in its tracks and feel free. It’s an awesome feeling to finally let it go. It’s like lifting a weight off our shoulders.
Another experience I’d like to share is that I grew up in an alcoholic environment. My father would ruminate about the past, and feel more and more miserable.
He’d sink into a state of depression and despair over the trauma he’d experienced. Then he would need to drown his sorrows in alcohol, which would compound everything and affect his health.
I want to point out that this isn’t about blame. Instead, I believe that we can look back at past generations and learn from them.
Which brings me to the second pillar of happiness: Allowing ourselves to enjoy the present moment. Because when we stop ruminating about the past, or worrying about what could happen in the future, then we can focus on the here and now.
And being here now is such a beautiful thing. It really allows us to feel lighter and brighter.
There’s joy to be found in releasing the focus on something that happened before, and what might go wrong later down the road. And if we look at the law of attraction, those negative thoughts and feelings only manifest what we do not want in life.
So stay in the moment, and enjoy the lightness of being in the now. Your mind and body will thank you, and your manifestations will improve.
And speaking of thankfulness, the third pillar is being mindful of the positive things in life. (Notice I avoided using the word “gratitude”, because it can be overused and highly repetitive.) In fact some people prefer to use the word “appreciate” instead.
Either way, there’s not a lot to say about this one. If we simply look around our world at the people who have less than we do, that observation can jar us into appreciating what we have, which automatically shifts the way we feel.
For example, I was just reading about a tribe in Africa where going to school costs $30 per year, and not everyone can afford it. Let that sink in.
There are people who are spending that much on lunch each day, and complaining that they don’t have enough. Noticing the contrast of what we have compared to what other people in the world have, opens our eyes to how good life really is.
Finally, after embodying the first three pillars and finding ourselves in a positive place, we can get thrown off by the energy of other people if we’re not careful. Because we might be feeling good, but someone around us will be in a bad mood, and we don’t want it to send us spiraling out of control.
As empaths we really feel that, and unfortunately we can take on those thoughts and emotions as though they’re our own. That’s why the fourth pillar to happiness is protecting our energy with boundaries.
Although we empaths are often sensitive to how others feel, we can practice a sense of detachment. This isn’t about not being kind and caring, but there’s a way of listening and being supportive, without taking on those emotions as our own.
Feeling into another person’s pain can take us down the path of people pleasing, and burning even more of our own energy. We do this because we not only want them to feel better, but we want to feel better too.
But it won’t be necessary to try to make everyone feel better, if we stay in our own lane. The other issue is that trying to be helpful can turn into enabling them to continue to behave that way, instead of being an example of living with a more positive mindset.
We can also practice going deep into our subconscious to help change the way we think and feel in a positive way. This is a guided meditation I did previously to help with boundaries. Also, I’ll be releasing a companion meditation to this article on Thursday. (Please Like the video and Subscribe to the channel while you’re there.)
Now, let’s review the four pillars of happiness so you can write them down as a reminder to yourself:
- Free yourself from the addiction of stress.
- Allow yourself to enjoy the present moment.
- Be mindful of the positive things in your life.
- Protect your energy with boundaries.
Feel free to take some time and look at each one, without judgment. Then ask yourself: “Is it something I struggle with in life?” If it is, you can definitely shift it quickly simply by having an awareness that it’s there.
I hope you enjoyed this reflection, and that it gave you some “aha” moments in the way it did for me. Often we can know these things, but a gentle reminder helps us to get back on track when we’ve temporarily gone off the rails.
