You’re not here to be walked on — you’re here to open the way for healing, starting with yourself.
I’ll never forget the day. I went to see a psychologist because I was desperate for answers.
I had been in a relationship for awhile with someone who had a fear of commitment. They also didn’t respect my needs, and I guess you could say I allowed them to have things their way. After all, I wanted to be “nice” to them because I thought that’s what love was.
But the relationship continued on in the same way, and I became more and more unhappy with the situation. I was trying to figure out a way that I could “fix” things and somehow feel better.
But deep down, I knew things would never change, because the other person wasn’t about to change themselves. Let’s face it: You have to be willing to change yourself – no one can do it for you.
So as I sat there with a woman psychologist, I explained the story. And quite frankly, I expected her to come back to me with loads of sympathy and maybe a “you poor little thing” attitude.
Instead she said: “Excuse me; do you have the word DOORMAT written on your forehead?” Ouch.
I didn’t expect that. So, I’m guessing my eyes opened wide and my mouth dropped open in disbelief.
She had turned the table on me. I thought it was all about “him”, but it was really all about me (and my lack of boundaries).
I really wanted her to say it was all his fault, and explain how I could fix things. But no, this was a wakeup call.
From there, my life began to change. I started to see things differently, and look in the mirror – which can be the best thing we can do for ourselves. Because the truth is, empowerment is about being in our power and not disempowering ourselves by handing it over to someone else.
Staying in a situation where we feel bad and are waiting for something to change isn’t the answer. And if we do stay that way, it’s like not leaving a nest when it’s time for us to fly. (Things get messy after awhile.)
As empaths we want to be helpful and caring, and sometimes we think we’re doing the right thing by going the extra mile; but we’re really wearing ourselves out. So here’s some suggestions to stop being a doormat and opening the door to the self-love and happiness you deserve:
- Have an awareness of your energy level. Are you feeling calm, content and at peace? Are you loving where you are in life, or have you gone too far in a situation and it’s time for a change?
- If it’s time to change things, then you need to get abundant clarity on your next steps.
- In order to get that clarity, you’ve got to go deep; so relaxation and rest is needed to quiet the mind and any input from others that doesn’t match your true heart’s desire.
- Once you have that clarity, then stay in your power by remembering that you deserve a life that’s aligned with your own wants and needs. Because not honoring your desires leads to burnout.
In addition, meeting with the psychologist is a prime example of getting insight from an outside source that sees things that you can’t. (It’s hard to read the label when we’re inside the jar.)
Although our soul knows what’s best for us, sometimes we need to “crack open” our heart and rediscover ourselves. It takes a shift that goes beyond just thinking about it.
Tools that can help are guided meditation, going on a relaxing retreat, getting out in nature, and even something as simple as taking a much-needed nap. (My mother used to love suggesting naps to break up the day and stay on track.)
Mother often did know best, and of course experience teaches us allot. I hope my story and suggestions help you as well on your fantastic (and sometimes winding) path in life.
And remember to stay in the zone of knowing your needs matter. Step into that powerful place inside of yourself that says “I need to love and respect myself in order to survive AND thrive”.
Keep that attitude and the clarity around who you are at your core, and you’ll find your way; with the happiness you deserve.
Ready to Step Out of Doormat Energy?
If this message resonated, let it be a reminder: your empathy is powerful, but it was never meant to come at your own expense. You deserve boundaries that protect your energy — not just for your sake, but for the animals and people you’re here to support.
If you’re feeling stuck, off-track, or just craving deeper clarity on your path…
I invite you to book a complimentary session:
Clarity, Healing & Purpose for Animal Lovers
This free 30-minute call is a chance to:
– Receive a message from your Animal Angel
– Reconnect with your intuition and purpose
– Explore where you’re being called to heal, grow, or serve
We’ll also gently explore whether longer-term mentorship feels aligned for you — no pressure, just presence.
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You give so much. Let this be a space where you receive.
